Getting on with my life

Today a year ago was the day I got on a plane to Colombia. It is quite strange to see how many things have changed in the pastime. Now I do more sports than I could have ever imagined and I am quite confident with (almost) everything happening right now in my life. A year earlier... not so much. In this one year we had two weddings and one newborn in my family, another wedding and another newborn within my friends. I got to know great people, I learned how to overcome that typical central-European grumpiness, I moved into a new flat with a great flat mate, I got a fulltime-job, I learned to be more grateful for the little things (and the big things as well) and I started to change things that always annoyed me about myself and I am doing quite good! 

I could probably say I have finally moved on from my “reversed culture shock”. If you are suffering from it right now and looking for a cure, I better tell you right now: there is none. I read that you normally suffer from it for as long as you have been abroad, which were about six months for me, and I can confirm that it really takes that long and you better just wait until it goes away. And you better occupy yourself through that time because else you get cabin fever. But you can use the time for doing something useful, like getting to know yourself better and what you really want from life. That worked quite well for me.

I also read many articles that stated that many things, like doing sports or writing about your experiences, help by dealing with reverse culture shock. I did all of it, but I can’t really say it helped in any way. Sure, successfully hiking on a mountain does release endorphins that make you feel better, but I guess partying every weekend has the same effect. So you choose.

So, as you might have guessed, coming back wasn’t always easy, I was quite suffering sometimes. It was sooo cold, I had no short-time-goals in life, nothing to plan (which is quite a horror for me), and no money – which was probably good, because else I would have just left again to travel somewhere else, but still, life is just easier when money is available. I often sat at home in my bed and thought “What am I doing with my life?” Working helped – a lot. I was finally occupied again, outside of my own flat – it was driving me crazy to sit around at home – and I had money again.

 And I was so content with being back and living in Austria. I thought that now after my big trip the wanderlust will wear off because now it is more important to establish a steady life. What a stupid idea. It’s just so boring. It worked as long as I had something to plan, some project to work on, which was in this case moving into another shared flat, but now that my room is furnished, decorated and everything, I am longing to travel again and discover somewhere new. How could I think I would survive for so long without planning my next trip? So, Austria is great, it really is, but there is so much more in life that I won’t be missing out.

From other articles I read that many people had problems getting back into their circle of friends or that they suddenly couldn’t get along with some people anymore. I thought that’s quite strange because for me it was more like the opposite. I started contacting people I haven’t heard of for a long time because I was curious and it was always worth the effort! Also, my friends have been and still are great. They supported me (but not too much so I wouldn’t get too comfortable) and as always, were always there when I needed someone to do fun stuff (who wouldn’t?). They were all happy to hear about my stories and totally accepted that I might have another perspective now that I have experienced different things than them.

Now the next step, besides planning my next big trip that will go to Brazil and Argentina, will be finishing my studies. It is actually quite strange that I haven’t finished it yet, because my life has always been straightforward, this is actually the first time I take more time for my studies, and while I really enjoy this time now, I had to shut up my conscience that likes to remind me “you could have been finished by now”. I have always completed everything in minimum duration; now it’s okay when I take this time for myself and nothing to feel bad about. No worries – I will finish it. Soon! And if I ever feel demotivated in my new job, I can just look at pictures from Iguaçu Waterfalls (that’s where I want to go) and I am sure my motivation will boost again. It feels good when life finally has a direction again.

Coming back

It has been about two months now since I returned to Austria and even if I suspected it to be hard, it kind of surprised me how strange I sometimes feel being back. For example when I first arrived at my flat in Graz, while I enjoyed sleeping in my own bed again it felt so odd to actually stay there and live there. It took me some days to feel content living in Graz again.

And then there was this moment when I was walking home from a friend who invited me at her flat for having dinner, drinking cocktails and playing games. It was a great night and I walked home late, like I did many times before going to Colombia, normally without a second thought because Graz is really safe, nothing ever happens here. But just after more or less 3 minutes my mind was on high alert because oh my god I am walking outside in a city at night, that's dangerous! I started nervously searching for my phone and unlocking it, just in case something happened I could immediately call somebody. I only relaxed a bit after observing the other people on the street walking along carelessly as if nothing bad could ever happen in this world - like I always did before as well.

The hardest part is just getting back into my life I had before I went to Colombia. The truth is, I just.. can't do it. I gained some new perspectives on life and I refuse to continue my life as if nothing changed. And it's really challenging to find out what to adapt so I am content with my life again.

Don't get me wrong, I am content being here in Austria again, but only as long as I can do what I choose to do, which is normally not what I am supposed to do.  Like some weeks ago, I went on holiday with two friends in the "Salzkammergut", a part of Upper Austria with lots of mountains and lakes and stunning views and it was so great just to enjoy living in such a beautiful country. But then there are those obligations like writing my master thesis - which means contacting people I didn't really want to contact before going abroad and therefore continuing the life I kind of paused when I went abroad.

I know I have to make some changes but I have no idea where to start and what would make me happy while still offering me the opportunity to lead an independent life, therefore with enough income to finance my expenses. And because I am quite out of plans, I kind of continue with the original plan to finish my master thesis and my studies and look for a job but I am definitely not committed to that goal. Maybe finding a job will help me get some direction into my life again. It's like before I just lived to go abroad someday and now that I reached that goal I don't know where to go now.

When I came back, I didn't even remember most of the stuff I own because I mentally left them in the part of my life that I considered to be over. Unfortunately it was not over at all and at some point I had to look for various things I needed again, like my savings book or my certificates - I did really well in hiding them from myself. And then there was SO MUCH stuff. I didn't remember for example that I had that many clothes. And bags. And shoes. I mean, seriously, who needs all that clothing? For half a year, my at the utmost ten shirts and five pants were enough. And now I have probably five times that amount - and I already sorted out the things I really don't need.

And my mind always divides in "before" and "after". I guess the experience was kind of disruptive. And, basically I am the same for sure, but it really annoys me when people automatically assume that I am doing everything just the same as I did before. That's exactly how you fall back in old patterns. Because I really don't want to discuss every small thing I changed about my habits. Yes, now I do like to take pictures of stuff to send it to my friends abroad. Yes, it might be strange for those who are opposed to that lifestyle, like I was before, but it just makes sense for me now. No, I don't want to go to concerts, I'd rather save my money for traveling. No, I really can't stand people complaining about the public transport in Austria. Our public transport is perfectly fine, and probably better than 90 % of public transport all over the world. If you don't believe me, try it somewhere else. No, I don't want to tell you "if you don't like Austria, just leave", I just think your complaining doesn't make any sense and is blocking your way to happiness. And by listening to you, it's blocking mine as well and no, I won't accept that.

Austrians are such strange people. Always thinking that somebody else hid their key to happiness. And never realizing that happiness is in the simple things. Like the person you love, friends, family, living in the country you love, pursuing personal goals, making other people smile. Just realize it, a better working public transport (however that might look like) will never make you happy, it might only take away a topic to complain about, which will be quickly replaced by another. It's your attitude that's the problem. And no, by saying the public transport in Colombia is worse than in Austria, I do not mean I didn't like it in Colombia, I really loved it there - because in the big picture such stuff just doesn't matter.

For example, I totally miss the friendly people everywhere just talking to you on the street or in a shop or anywhere, having a short chat and then going on with your life. It makes your day a little brighter and doesn't take much of your precious time. But people here don't seem to appreciate it even if you try. And then there's the problem that I really want to go out and find me some kind of adventure, but I have to sit at home and write my thesis - that's really really boring. But then, money does not grow on trees and I really need to finish my studies. Furthermore I want to go traveling again and to do so I need to continue following my plans. It's just so.. boring. Maybe I am just not used to such a monotonous life anymore.

Despite all that, I am more content with my life than I have ever been (besides my time in Colombia) and I am not really thinking about going back, and the reason may be that it was just never really a possibility because I always knew that now, without the other exchange students, it won't be the same. I learned to appreciate what I have, like my friends and family, my bed, the food, even clothes I didn't remember when I came back. I try to smile at people that are somehow crossing my path, like the cashier at a shop or the bus driver or just somebody I talk to for some reason. I try to get out on sunny days and do sports because it feels great being able to reach something without much of an effort.

Now I just, somehow, miraculously, need to get up and actually do my stuff so I can continue with my life. However I am going to do that... My brother had a good way of overcoming his "afterwards-restlessness" by finding himself a girl to marry, which gave him a new goal in life and put several things into a new perspective. Unfortunately that won't work for me because I am not the marry-a-year-after-meeting kind of girl. Any tips for getting on with my life?  How to implement some action into my boring should-be routine? Maybe I need a new target in life. But what could that be? I am out of plans, and that doesn't happen very often. Actually it generally doesn't happen at all. So where do I start? Or maybe I just continue making collages of my photos from abroad and talking to my friends from abroad and remembering the moments abroad and thinking about how beautiful this life is. Well, it really is. As long as nobody asks me what I have accomplished recently.

Beautiful Austria

Last week I had a presentation about Austria and while preparing and as well while presenting it, I realized just how beautiful Austria really is and how lucky we can consider ourselves to be born there. So I decided to write something about it for all my fellow Austrians who forgot the beauty of their homecountry. (Also, it might be interesting for those considering to live in Austria some day.)

The truth is, we can easily stand competition to the countries all around the world. It starts with some simple facts. Did you know that there are really few countries all over the world that are free from Rabies (Tollwut) and Austria is one of them due to lots of measures that were taken for protection?

Except for maybe in some parts of Vienna which I don't know, you won't experience robbery in Austria. Might be that someone steals your phone or something similar if you are not careful but you won't need to experience somebody holding a knife against your skin to get your cash. Never to mention that there's no war that might take everything you own. You can even walk around at night almost wherever you want and nothing will happen.

Did you know that in many regions all over the world drinking water from the tap will definitely get you sick? Here in Colombia you have to boil your water and afterwards it still has a weird taste. Else, you can of course buy all your water you want to drink or even wash your fruits with, but just think about the amounts of water you have to carry home. This is really annoying!

Also, in Austria everybody has access to education. Actually, it's almost free. You don't have to pay a huge sum to enter a private university because the public ones are fine as well. There are lots of funds to finance your school life, your school books, your school trips, your semester abroad, everything. When I started to explain to the international office of University of Ibague that I get money from the country as a support for doing a semester abroad they just looked at me astonished and asked again if that money is really paid by like the government and not the university. So, well, if you want financial support over here you have to ask your university.

And then there's also what we learn: It is not common all over the world that people learn to swim when they are children. It also isn't common to learn a second language that early and even a third one later that you can improve after finishing school. If you want to. The choice is always yours, you can also just start working which is actually a quite unique system, very few countries offer their kids to start working that early.

Another aspect: we do not have street dogs. They are actually not that bad, but still some kind of health risk especially for children playing outside. As well, people do not need to sleep on the street. There are various places where they can seek help, get food, sleep for a night. To tell the truth, beggars in Austria look more healthy than some people here that actually have a job.

Which leads to my next point: If you do want to work, you will find work. You might not like that work but it will be sufficient to live from it (at least if you don't have a family to feed - for which there are family assistance payments). And you can always continue looking for a better job - you can even do paid trainings for another job and receive money for not working (unemployment pay).

And then there's the infrastructure. We have a functioning train sytem that takes you almost everywhere. And the places the train does not reach are connected by bus. As well, our streets are actually really really great. No potholes, you can actually go 100 km/h and even more on the highway and such stuff. Nothing really special, until you do not have it anymore.

Of course, our nature has a lot to offer as well. When I look at the picture above, I can almost feel the sun, hear the crickets and smell the flowers. Because it is just like a typical view you get somewhere in Austria. We have all these beautiful lakes with clear water where you can swim. And in the mountains you can even drink the water directly from the stream because it is so clear. Yes, we also have these beautiful mountains with these nice alpine cabins to stay and eat Kaiserschmarrn.

And not to forget, we know how to enjoy a coffee! We can make cakes, cookies, also the bread here is quite unique all over the world. And never ever forget the wine and the beer and the schnaps! Whatever you need, you can find in Austria, the only thing ever missing is the sea. But fortunately we have really great chocolate to compensate that as well.

It might not get better from now, but we are actually already really really far on our way to perfection, so I guess it's time to start appreciating what we already have, stop complaining all the time and be a little more thankful for that, don't you think?